Vacationing Before Children:
Pack a small bag of clothing and toiletries.
Leave.
Check into hotel.
Shower.
Sleep 10 hours.
Dress yourself.
Do something enjoyable all day long.
Vacationing with Children:
Pack a small bag of clothing and toiletries.
Pack a large bag of clothing for children, including 2-3 outfits per child per day plus every pair of socks and underwear you own.
Pack laundry detergent and stain remover.
Pack small medical bag with infant Tylenol, Mylicon, Children's tablets, Benadryl, Desitin, and the good thermometer (because you know full well that by the end of the first night, somebody will have a fever).
Bring pack and play.
Pack large bag of sheets, mattress pads, and blankets for aforementioned pack and play. Include 1 stuffed animal per child.
Pack bag filled with toys, coloring books, crayons, view master, slides, puzzles, die cast cars, and other things they won't want unless you don't pack it.
Pack a reusable grocery bag filled with non perishable food items for snacks and breakfast. Include at least 2 Sippy cups per child per day. Include child plates, bowls, an utensils.
Pack cooler with milk, fresh vegetables, and fruit. Pray the hotel has in-room refrigerators. And a microwave.
Bring collapsible booster seat.
Bring breastpump.
Pack bag filled with breast pump accessories and milk bags. Pray again for refrigerator.
Throw some jackets and shoes into the car.
Herd small children into the car.
Leave.
Stop for coffee.
Stop for a few potty breaks.
Stop for fries.
Check into hotel.
Beg for refrigerator.
Herd small children into room.
Forget to move car from the hotel entrance.
Get a phone call at 10pm requesting you to move car.
Move car.
Attempt to get small children back to sleep after phone call.
Sleep 5 hours.
Dress yourself.
Dress everyone else.
Feed three people breakfast.
Redress the kid with orange juice down his shirt.
Go to Target to buy the baby new shoes, since you forgot to pack him any.
Also, buy your son a new toothbrush, because you forgot that too.
Buy a venti anything with a double shot of espresso.
Go to lunch wherever there's a play area.
Return to hotel.
Listen to baby cry for an hour and a half under the guise of "taking a nap."
Make coffee in room.
Baby finally falls asleep.
Read a book peacefully during actual naptime.
Go to dinner.
Do something enjoyable for 2 hours.
Go to bed early.
True story, friends.
It takes a few extra steps doing it WITH the kids, but I feel like these are the vacations I'm actually going to cherish for years to come. With all the extra mess and hoopla, I still feel like every headache is so very worth it, something I never could have understood before. I love these troublesome little munchkins. I love the extra steps and the ridiculous packing routine. I love every minute (okay, minus the crying parts). I wouldn't trade it for all the single, actually relaxing vacations in all the world.
But I still think it's funny ;)
